I mentionned the other day that Billy turned one recently.
What I failed to mention was that Billy was a surprise.
Some may argue that I was probably hoping to have a kid when we did as in the grand scheme of things it worked out quite well for us, but in all honesty, I did not hope for it at all. A year before Billy was conceived, we had a miscarriage that forced the question between the my husband and I: Do we even want to have children? The answer was a resounding yes, but only after I could start working from home, as my job is in Alexandria and we live in Downtown Baltimore and I had no desire to make that commute nine month pregnant.
You know how you make plans, and then God laughs at you?
Yep. That is exactly what happened.
So God, with his wicked sense of humor, gave us Billy. Or as I like to point out, my husband knocked me up. And nine months later, we have a beautiful baby/toddler boy. But now that Billy is a year old, the question of having another child to complete the family circle is upon us. Although I personally don’t know how I would handle having two children under two, there are arguments that favor this decision (and from all of the parents I have talked to who had two under two, no regrets) and more importantly they say that children spaced 3 years apart are “ideal” because they can play with each other and yet still individualize.
There is no good time to have a baby, but there is an art to it as supported by the internet and all of the personal responses I got on the family boards about this question. (Thank you Baltimore moms and dads!) It seems that no matter what happens or what you’re dealt with, you will make the best of it – because that’s what parents do. But there are lots of factors that weigh into the decision such as the personality/health of your children, your personal happiness, your personal experiences with your own siblings, some psych studies on sibling spacing, and your fertility/pregnancy. These factors are important to note in your own personal decision, and will be further discussed in Part II.
My dilemma is pretty simple: my son has a cousin three months younger than him and it is magical to watch them play together. As in jaw-dropping, makes you melt, awesome magic. It’s this weird drug that compels me to drive four hours each week to see these two munchkins tackle each other. My sister-in-law, the mother of said cousin, is looking to have another kid in the next few months because, according to psychology studies, they children play well together when they are two years apart. Which means if I want a repeat in the magic, my second will be born in the next year or year and a half. I’m not sure her anecdotal evidence and studies are valid enough to make me rush into having child number two anytime soon, although there are more reasons why two under two appeal to me, so I posted this question to the Baltimore parenting boards to get a better idea of what real parents in this situation experience and their honest, and mostly anonymous views on it. So far, the answers are all completely dependent on the above variables, which is also supported by my lame internet research.
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Part II, which will be posted on Sunday will present said lame research, other mom experiences, and my personal decision.
