Week 34: Maybe This is a Sign

As some of you may know, I’ve decided to take the plunge and go the cloth diapering route after much debating and deliberation.  Most people have already told me that I was crazy, except for the ones that cloth diaper.  They’re the ones that tell me that it’s the better of the two ways of diapering, and I believe them– it’s healthier for the baby, it’s convenient, and clean.  I know it’s poop and other miscellaneous sundries going into my laundry, but I’ve never been a huge germaphobe and I don’t plan on becoming one anytime soon.  Especially since you run the diapers through hot water (120F) which is essentially BOILING water– which is how you sterilize bottles.  Just a thought.

So here I am today, after going to the doctor’s office, grocery shopping, picking up some used maternity clothes, starting dinner, and running a load of laundry, when a faint burning smell begins.  Like the kind of smell that reminds you of being in a lab while running an old MF-ing GC.  Or when a belt burns/breaks in your car.  Or something that reminds you of motor grease.  I didn’t think much of it until I tried to take the clothes out of the washer to dry– and there was water still in the tub.

My washer broke. 

One of my great friends Ed stopped over to check it out and help me move things and investigate the problem (my husband hadn’t come home yet, and really, Ed is much more handy) and told me that it appeared that I had a lint buildup, and hopefully the service man that is coming tomorrow will fix it.  (That happens?  Really?)  I’m hoping that is the case, or that it’s a burnt out belt, but I really don’t want to replace a pump.  I REALLY REALLY don’t want to– it would cost us about $400 to fix and we can get another combo set for the laundry for $1000.  Guess what I would go for?

Now I really don’t want to buy a new washer/dryer.  I like the mechanical one we have and I was hoping to save the money for a new sunroom/screened porch and fence and patio.  So this is kinda not in the plans for us financially… but I can’t help but think that maybe this is a sign.  You know, telling me this cloth diapering thing is not such a great idea.  And if it is a sign, should I get the new washer and dryer combo then, and wouldn’t that resolve my current diapering dilemma?  Hrm…

UPDATE:  $125 later, the washer is fixed, but the repair man has informed us to get a new one if it breaks again.  Which it will, and we will, so I’ll have to start doing some research now for a new washer.  Blech.  Obviously, now is not the best time to quit my job and start a bakery.

Week 33: Adventures with a Future Grandma– Labor and Breastfeeding Extravaganza!

My mother is crazy.

Not that this should surprise anyone, as most moms are just inherently crazy.  She just happens to be crazy in the most unconventional ways.  Or rather, she’s crazy in the Asian way.  You know, the way where she withholds information until the very end, like it’s a bribe.  Or her only way of getting you to call her (which btw, not only do I call her once a week, I tend to see her once a week too, so I don’t understand this craziness.)

For instance, after MONTHS of me asking her about her labor and her telling me she doesn’t remember, which initially didn’t surprise me, she suddenly “remembers” it.  Like it was yesterday.  The pain.  The pushing.  The “I think it was definitely under 8 hours” timing.  The pain.  The screaming that I will most likely do– “I hate you!  This is all your fault!”  The pain.  The being in a hospital and having no idea what was going on.  The pain.  She then told me that I was going to suffer and suck it up and oh, it was only about maybe definitely I think less than 8 hours of EXCRUTIATING pain and that I was doing it for my baby, for the family, for the homeland.  That she was so glad that I was having a child so that she could laugh at me.

Thanks.  Thanks a lot Mom.

Then she proceeds to elaborate on breastfeeding, which has been a mystery for me because she had been telling me for the past few months that breastfeeding for her was a tempermental thing.  That she wasn’t able to breastfeed after awhile.  So I was doing a lot of reading on what supplements to take to encourage breastfeeding for the past few months, fearful that I would have giant boobs without any functionality.  I definitely don’t have to worry anymore because she had NO PROBLEM making the milk, until she stopped breastfeeding to go back to work 4 weeks after giving birth.  (You think maternity leave in the US is bad, China and Taiwan are MUCH worse.)  So I have a fairly good chance of having no problem with breastfeeding provided I don’t return to work (which I won’t be working full time yet.) 

And get this:  her pregnancy, much like mine, was uneventful.  She ate a lot, got fat, and felt fine.  She was really happy to see that I was walking around and not feeling much different (except for BO, darkening, and mammoth exhaustion). 

Ugh.  The things you find out later.

She did give me a random suggestion– to get two bathtubs.  One for the dirty water and once for the clean water.  Now where the hell am I going to put two bathtubs in my 2 bedroom 1 bath rowhome?  Hrm?

Cloth Diapering – The Preliminary Research

After a great deal of thought and internal debate, I have finally decided to go the cloth diapering route.  The decision is one I made with a great deal of trepidation as there are a lot of reasons to use disposables, but in the end what really did it for me was the cost savings, health reasons, and theoretical ease of use.

The average disposable diaper cost estimates per kid ranges from $800-$2500.  Cloth diapers costs can start as low as $100-$200 to start, but I think that realistically you’ll spend something like $300-$500 per family.  There are a lot of websites that “do the math” for you– I’ve listed a couple that I’ve appreciated but take with a huge grain of salt:

• Real Diaper Association:  I like the fact that they cite the Journal of Pediatrics for some of their facts.
• Diaper Decisions:  An over-exaggeration of diaper costs, but I don’t think they had the One Size All in Ones yet.

The cost savings is huge if done for more than one kid (which I intend on doing!) and since diapering can last 2-3 years it seems to be the way to go.  Plus, if you register for the cloth diapers, you end up spending even less money in the end, at least in theory.

The health reason is pretty simple:  if you have latex or vinyl allergies, most cloth diapers are latex and vinyl free, thus saving you the agony of dealing with diaper rashes due to allergic reactions.  Plus, there are fewer diaper rashes with cloth diapers as a result of the baby feeling wet sooner– meaning less moisture is trapped against his skin.

Convenience:  washing diapers is easier than buying more.  And disposing of disposables can be really stinky in the city.

So that’s about it.  I know it’s not as in depth as other bloggers’ sites, but the real reason for me is that I wanted to do something a little bit more “hippy” and give it a try before just giving up and going for disposables.  We make enough money to attempt it and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.  I will concede defeat after the attempt and not before!

Week 32: Ten Things I Don’t Miss While Pregnant

1. My period.  Period.  I mean, I know it’s a natural thing that most women have, but it’s inconvenient and really disgusting when you think about it.  So it is nice to not have to think about it!
2. Caring about my weight/size.  Yes, I know I have to gain about 25-40 lbs.  I am not going to care about how much I weigh or my size anymore.  This doesn’t mean that I will eat cake every week, although, somehow that really has been the case, but it means that I won’t calorie count every meal because my theory is that you only get one chance to grow a baby inside you so why not give it your best?   So this morning’s breakfast of eggs, toast, OJ, and hot chocolate isn’t so terrible!
3. Caffeine induced insomnia trips/jitters.  Oh, I know I needed to avoid caffeine when I wasn’t pregnant because of my sleeping issues, but it tasted so good.  So damn good.  So my fourth cup of coffee screws up my sleep cycle and gives me a tick… wait a minute.  Yeah, I definitely don’t miss that.
4. Heels.  Yes, they are sexy and they make me feel sexy, but having an excuse to wear flip flops all day is also pretty sexy in my mind.  Here I am, wearing flip flops.  All day.  All freakin’ day.  And loving it!  (My feet feel so awesome now, even in comparison to wearing heels before pregnancy.  What we girls do for fashion or height.)
5. Changing the kitty litter.  Meow!
6. Carrying large or heavy things into and out of the house, or around the house, like groceries or large boxes of gifts, or suitcases.  “Lemme get that.” is so lovely and more frequent while pregnant.
7. Caring about what my hair looks like.  Because my hair grows so quickly, I just let it go back in a ponytail.  There’s no point in cutting it and no point in trying to look good because well… I’m obviously off the market and my job is relatively solitary and… well, I’m pregnant.  It’s not like I can even use products…
8. Makeup.  I can’t use them (my skin is not happy when I do) and my husband says I don’t need them (isn’t he great?).  Plus, that’s an extra 15 minutes of sleeping!
9. Feeling guilty about needing to do a number 1 all the time.  Pregnancy is the perfect excuse for an already tiny bladder.
10. Taking the train.  With swine flu and sheer exhaustion, the train is no longer a priority.  At least, not until after the baby.

“Can you refer me to a specialist? I need a shrink for my cat.”

I think our kitty has OCD.

No seriously, she is totally OCD.  She licks herself all the time, she gets extremely agitated when we “forget” about her needs, or in particular, her schedule– in particular, when to feed her.  Because when we don’t feed her, that means that we aren’t her humans anymore, we’re her nemeses.  And that’s NORMAL for her.

But this morning, she was fed very early.  And instead of running off to do her morning OCD rituals, she is staring at our stove, like something is underneath it.  For the second day in the row.  And she seems so dejected.

Ben gave her wet food last night to “Cheer her up” and I’ll give her snacks later to help her confidence… but she just isn’t as annoying as she usually is!  It’s so pitiful.  I really just don’t know what to do with her.  Hopefully she will lose interest soon.  Or I will definitely need to hire a kitty shrink.

You Scratch My Back, I Scratch Yours…

Typically, I don’t do this kind of thing, but I thought I might share a story and then maybe convince you to try the website out for yourself.

diapers.com

If you’re a new customer to diapers.com, you get a free 10% coupon (CODE: 10PERCENT). If you buy diapers there for the first time, you get $5 off (CODE: NEW5). And if you use my referral (CODE: TZNU6145) and purchase diapers, you get $10 (and I get $1). All in all, it is a pretty good deal of coupons for both of us!

Plus, once you start buying from them, they keep sending you coupons. And all purchases over $49 come with free 1-2 day shipping. You can even mail in manufacturer’s coupons and they will credit your account. And provided you don’t live in NY, NJ, PA, NC, NV, or MO, you don’t pay taxes on your purchase! (Which for me is a huge savings. HUGE.)

So, I just purchased my awesome Inglesina Zippy Stroller for $315 without taxes (instead of $423 from BRU), plus got diapers and a man diaper bag for husband for $398. All in all, I saved $130 by making the purchase online. I really wish I had purchased more but there are only so many boxes my husband will be willing to have in the house at one time. I highly recommend the site if you’re looking to purchase big ticket items (they have an excellent price matching policy) and the site is extremely easy to use, even while pregnant.

Week 31.2: 15 Minutes of Pure Bliss

This morning at 8AM:

Me: (spread out in bed snoozing like the dead, drool, drool, drool, snore…..)
Husband: (walks in, gets into bed before going to work) Oh, you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.
Me: Mmhsdfsghklmerjhthlfgh…..
Husband: I love you… (kisses)
Me: Mmmmmrmrmrmrmrm…ughugh…. leavemebealonesleep…ughfghmmememrmrmrm….
Husband: (kiss again, gets up to do something or another)

15? minutes later….

Me: (dreaming… why is Mackenzie Phillips following me down the streets of Baltimore?…snore…)
Husband: Aw… so cute. I missed you so much this week.
Me: Mmmemrmrmrmhmrm …. reallyneedleavemealone…sleep….
Husband: I know, I’m sorry (kiss kiss, pauses, leaves the house)
Me: Mmmmmgrghghmmmugh… (drool, drool, drool, snore)

5 minutes later…

Me: (snore, drool, drool, snore)
Cat: purrpurrpurrrrrr (bites my feet) purrpurrpurr
Me: Mmmmmhmmhgrghmm… yawn… notinmoodsorry…needsleep…loveyoutoo… mmmhmmhgrghm

Week 31: I Dream of Dreaming…

It’s not insomnia, where I’m awake and able to do lots of things and then eventually pass out. 

It’s worse.  Much, much worse.

I am exhausted, I want to sleep so badly, but I can’t sleep well.  It’s more like a restless sleeping.  I toss and turn and toss and turn, go downstairs to sleep on the couch, go back upstairs to sleep on the bed, toss and turn.  There are no dreams and more importantly no waking up feeling refreshed and able to take on the world.  And really, that is what I really want.  The slumber of slumbers.  The dreaming in dreams.  The sleep of the dead.

I’m on Night 4 of this.  I’ve tried exercising, eat fewer carbs in the afternoon, working late, working early, nothing has helped now or before.  The only tried and true method for sleep that I haven’t tried yet is a glass of wine with Benadryl and even though I know I can take the Benadryl, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for sleep (and it freaks me out that the baby gets sleepy from it too).  ARGH.

This being said, I know that there are things going on in my life that are affecting me– the heartbreak and loss of friends, work, my smelly feet due to pregnancy, paying for all of the stuff for baby, finding space for all of the stuff for baby, post-shower stuff and wondering if we will move out of our rowhome now or later… and all of the other stuff in having kids.  So I know there are reasons for me not being able to sleep, I just wish I could sleep.

Oh, and randomly, the song “You’re in Love” by Wilson Phillips keeps playing in my head. 

That’s it:  Tonight, a Benadryl.

Week 30.0012844: Pregnancy and Exercise

I stopped going to the gym early in the first trimester.

It wasn’t because I didn’t want to go to the gym, but because I couldn’t justify it after several failed attempts post-conception.  There I was, doing a warrior one position in yoga, and I could see stars.  Little flashy ones with neon colors.  Dancing about like gay sprites, mocking my ineptitude, my lack of grace, my inevitable flabby doom.

And then suddenly I was down on the ground in child’s pose, concentrating on my breathing, thinking about taking a nap.  A really long nap.

I did try to make another attempt, which ended up with me apologizing to the yoga instructor and lying on my back in the locker room.  And then there was the incident at Muscle Up (weights + cardio) where I ended up worshipping the porcelain gods in a state of blacked out bliss.  But since then, I’ve been taking it easy.  I walk to work and when I don’t walk to work I walk around work.  Every day. 

But you get the feeling that it’s not enough.  Especially in stage of pregnancy where you are indeed, a whale.  So I got an exercise ball, which was advised by my nurse friend Angel, and sat on it at work.  (BTW– there is an element of hilarity when you are inflating a giant exercise ball in your office.  The noises the foot pump makes really cannot be described without using juvenile language and possibly snorting.)  And I sat on it.  For most of the day.

Until my core muscles spasmed.

Rest assured, I will continue sitting on the big white ball of balance, but the utter realization of how flabby I had gotten hit me.  And then there was also the realization that it was going to be damn near impossible to get in shape at this stage, because I’m exhausted, stressed out, and probably going to black out trying to do a downward dog.  So I’ll have to walk more, sit on the ball more, and do some light weight lifting.  

But in general, I would say, do exercise as much as possible… but listen to you body because your body knows your limits more than you do.  Especially when your body says to take a nap.  It’s always the right time to take a nap.

Week 30: Insomnia and Cheese Biscuits

This is definitely Ben’s child.

I have had a couple episodes of insomnia during this pregnancy, and I had one just two days ago which resulted me in eating something and then passing out.  But tonight (or is it this morning?) I woke up with a gnawing pain in my stomach.  A pain that said, “Mommy.  Feed me.”

“Feed me now.”

“Feed me CHEESE BISCUITS.”

“NOW!!!!”

Typically, I try to not listen to this gnawing pain.  After all, who wants to make cheese biscuits in the middle of the night?  But there was no denying it this time.  Cheese biscuits had to be made.  Thank goodness for Bisquick and pre-shredded Mexican cheese.  Twenty minutes after slipping on a robe and stumbling downstairs, I am gnoshing on a cheese biscuit with some some gently scrambled eggs with cheese and Cholula hot sauce.  Life is better.  Belly is full.  Billy seems content.  And Billy is definitely Ben’s child, because Ben’s eyes get all misty with the prospect of cheese biscuits.  I mean, they’re good, but they’re not what I grew up with, they’re not part of my foodie genes.

Some people would say that I need to exercise some self-control– after all I really don’t need a fourth meal at 1am.  But I think the general concensus is that if you wake up craving something so strongly that it hurts your tummy, you should probably eat something.  Forget the fact that you’ve already gained 25 pounds and you are the size of a small killer whale, eat.  The parasite is demanding it and it’s not like you’re eating a whole cake all at once, right? 

You’re just eating a slice of cake every day.